The Strokes are too happy.

So, The Strokes are coming out with a fourth album. Why should you be excited? Only because they're the best band of all time. At least for me, they are. I can honestly say that the Strokes reign over my heart even more so than the Beatles. The reason is because I refuse to call a band that is no longer together "My favorite band". "My favorite band" has to be representative of me, and of the era in which I've lived. And for me, that band is the Strokes.

The Strokes opened my eyes to music. My friend, Ricky, told me to listen to them at a point in my life where I was still in "Beatle" land. randomly, I picked the song "Automatic Stop". It was love at first sound. I reached a realization that I was no longer a kid. That this was the real world and that the real world sucked. I became enraptured by this music that represented rebellion, anger, dissatsifaction. Music filled with sex, beer, cigarettes, 3 peice suits, blues, sunglasses, beat up loafers, moppy hair. A genre completely contradictory to my views that somehow met me where I was at.

Their style consisted of the washed out, whining voice of Julian Casablancas. It sounded distant, like it was old, at the other end of a telephone line. Difficult to understand, but still, trying to communicate something. This was my soul crying out into the vacuum of society, unable to be comprehended, but relevant and dripping with passion and want. There was no politics or message to their music. They didn't advocate a religion or complain about oppression or blame others. Their lyrics were fully introverted and disconcerned with the rest of the world.

• "Is this it?"
• "Oh people, they don't understand. No girlfriends, they won't understand. In spaceships, they won't understand. And me, I ain't ever gonna understand."
• "The end has no end."
• "Good try, we don't like it. Good try, we don't take that shit."
• "The night's not over. You're not trying hard enough. Our lives are changing lanes. You ran me off the road."
• "I never needed anybody."
• "You're not supposed to say that. You talk way too much."

And Julian...

I am someone who can honestly say that they're staying celibate until marraige, but one look at Julian and those aspirations went out the door. I was completely convinced that he was the sexiest man on the face of this Earth and that there isn't anything I wouldn't have done for him. He was a rock star, a sex god, an icon.

You know a band is your favorite band when you can name all the members, tell their history, and you know every song on their albums and the order in which they play. I can only say this about the Strokes. You're probably wondering why I'm speaking of all this in the past tense. Well let me tell you: even though you should be excited that the Strokes are coming out with another album, you should also probably expect to be thoroughly disappointed. The truth is, I just received a free single the other day from the new album, "Angles". Guess what...it sucks! I can't really say I'm suprised because their last album was pretty bad as well. Some people may not be able to say where they've gone wrong, but I can. The truth is, their music isn't as pissed off as it used to be. They're too happy. There used to be this angry, sexual repression evident in their songs, but now? Now they're all married with kids, dating, or engaged. They're 30 years old and they're satisfied with life. This is all good, but their music is suffering as a result.

Before:

After:

As you can see form the evidence I've presented, they've gone from completely bad ass to utterly lame. "Is this It" and "Room on Fire" were their high points. To listen to them was a a self inflicted yet enjoyed torture on my devout, virginal existence. Along with Notorious B.I.G. and episodes of Weeds, they were a part of me that craved to exist on the same level as the rest of the world. But alas, as rebellious as they are, even I am more rebellious than them.